Here's to you Kory Snider

Who is Kory Snider? He's a drunk driver and hit-and-runner, and I met him last night while sitting at the stop light at 39th and Wyoming. Sitting at the stop light while driving Boyfriend's car.

I was looking for something in my wallet so I didn't see him coming, when boom! there he was. I got out and walked back and asked if he was ok. He seemed a little glazed but said he was alright. Then, and here's what probably caused a whole chain of events, I told him we needed to call a cop because I wasn't driving my own car and I'd need a police report.

He suggested we pull off out of the middle of the street, and I figured that was probably a good idea. You can see it coming: When I pulled over, he turned south on Wyoming and was off.

Now I've never loved Boyfriend's Acura. There's nothing wrong with it, I've just never loved it the way I loved some of his other cars. I have a new found respect for it now though, because when you decide to chase someone who crushed your bumper, this is the car you want. Speed, handling, braking, it's all there.

I'd forgotten my phone so I couldn't call the police, and I'm not really sure what I was thinking, other than I was going to catch him or he was going to get away. He led down Wyoming, and west on 41st (blowing stop signs all the way). He led still down State Line as well and turned on 42nd. At the west end he blew right out into Rainbow, and somehow didn't hit anyone. I got stopped by traffic and saw him turn west on 43rd, and I knew I'd lost him

So I pulled out to turn east on 43rd, go back to where I'd started, and find a phone. At the light I looked west, and what do I see on a side street but a flashing light. Could I possibly be that lucky? A turn around in the McDonalds parking lot and I was on my way. When I turned off 43rd towards the light, YOU CAN IMAGINE MY GLEE at seeing Mr. Snider pulled over, with a cop at his window.

So much glee in fact that I pulled right up, window down, and said "You just hit me and drove off you bastard!" The cop wasn't sure what was going on, he pulled him over for mowing down a stop sign. I told him to check the front of his car, and the back of mine, and it was all over. Cuffed and thrown in the back of the cop car with what I learned later was a DWI.

The car belonged to the passenger, who was also drunk, but at this point at least seems to be insured. The claim is being turned into his insurance company, and the police were pretty decent about making sure I had the info I needed.

So, don't drive drunk. And if you do, and you plow into someone, someone who gets out and inquires as to your well-being, just pull over and take what comes from the police. You could kill yourself or someone else driving like that through residential streets. And if karma pops up in the form of a stop sign, you end up in jail anyway.

As well you should, Kory Snider, you bastard.


hello gorgeous said...

Jesus, David. That is some story. He should know better than to fuck with the man in black. That also really tops my story about chasing down the guy for littering.

By the way, can we give Boyfriend a name? Biff? (for BF) Or Hank? Something. Maybe have a Boyfriend-naming contest so as not to give away his true identity of Anderson Cooper.

"Boyfriend" just feels so replaceable... :-)

Chris Kauffman said...

WOW , hope your ok , that is a crazy event.

hello gorgeous said...



Anonymous said...

It's bothered me too. Calling him "Boyfriend" sounds like something Hillary Duff would do.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad everyone was ok and no one else got hurt when the jerk took off.

Decorina said...

That happened to a friend of mine - the guy was never found. Before I do anything I get their license plate number. Then I move my car. I'm so happy that he was caught! Cool.

Decorno said...

Oh my god, what a story. I love it when people get what they deserve. Glad everyone was ok (minus the acura) and that cops nailed him.